Good Thing It's Not a What?!

Today's laugh and a half is brought to you by a kindergartner, a kindergarten teacher... and a bug.

A kindergartner goes to use the in-class bathroom. When he comes out he's pointing at the floor and saying "There's a spider!" The kindergarten teacher goes over to see what's happening and yells out when she sees what she described as a giant bug that freaked her out deeply. We started moving boxes and shelves trying to find the bug and she goes "good thing it wasn't a c-o-c-k". The other teacher in the room and I look at each other like wtf a what?? Later she said "I would've freaked out if it was a roach." The other teacher and I busted out laughing... We did not think she meant a roach.

Birthdays are all a Buzz

I made my classroom a cute birthday wall, here's how!

What you'll need:

• Black and yellow paint
• Paint brushes
• Paper
• A list of your kids' birthdays
• Eyeball stickers (optional)
• Some tiny adorable feet

What to do:

1. Paint your child's foot with yellow and black stripes. In the past when I did bumblebee feet I painted the whole foot yellow and added the black stripes to the dry footprint, I suggest that method, it makes for less smudging.
2. Have your child put their foot on the paper. This part can actually be a bit more tricky than it sounds. If your child is sitting, they may not be able to reach the floor and you'll have to stand them up. Standing them up without putting the painted foot on the floor before you're ready is tough so hold that foot with one hand and help them balance on the other foot with the other. Also when you do get the foot on the paper it will be slippery with paint and the kid will move around. Try presetting them to wait until you are ready, then quickly put the foot down, hold it in place while counting to 5 out loud, they'll want to count with you!
3. After the footprint is done, help them sit back down without getting that painted foot on anything else. Use a wet paper towel or baby wipe to clean off the majority of the paint, your probably won't get it all off but it will come off after a bath or two at home.
4. After your footprint is dry, draw some antennae and wings next to it. In one wing write your child's name and in the other write their birthday. Don't forget to add a face!

The finished product:

Some of them are handprints, I had some kids that had issues with the thought of their feet being painted but were willing to do their hands. Same steps!

Pee-jamas

Today's laugh and a half is brought to you by a 2 year old boy and my teacher assistant

So my last day of being lead teacher was this past Friday, it was also wacky week so it was pajama day; meaning my kids and I were all wearing pajamas. We're outside on the playground and I pick up a little boy. His pants feel a bit wet but I'm not paying attention so I'm just thinking he might have sat in something. When I put him down I realize my pajama shirt is SOAKED. I look at my teacher assistant and I'm like why is my shirt so wet? She's like "maybe it's from the bubbles you were blowing." And I'm thinking bubble don't make your shirt this wet. So I go feel the kid's pants and they are DRENCHED. I look at my TA and she goes "How can his pants be that wet if he has a diaper on?" So I take a look... no diaper. I'm like wtf "Did you not put a diaper on him after you changed him?!" She's like "I thought I did." I ask the kid "Where's your diaper?" He goes "Um it's inside." And I'm like "How did it get inside? Did you take it off or did Lola take it off?" He says "Lola did." I peek inside the classroom to see if I see a diaper on the floor anywhere, I don't.

We take all the kids inside so I can change this kid and get him some dry clothes. When I go to take his wet pants off what do I find? His diaper... stuffed up into the ankle area of his pants, soaked. So I'm dying laughing and now I have to change his whole pants, socks and shoes. Then he doesn't have extra shoes in his stuff so... now he's barefoot until I can find him some shoes.

*All names are changed for confidentiality.

Wacky Work Week

I'm entering my final week as Lead Teacher... again. My boss' boss was in our facility the other day and tried to convince me to stay on like my boss has been. She tried telling me about how I could be an assistant director or a director. And I mentioned to her that I didn't know if I was qualified to be a director, she says I am. Mind you this is only the first or second time I've met this woman so if she's trying to convince me to stay on and climb the ranks than I can only assume my boss has spoken pretty highly of me.

If there is an opening for a higher position in January I'd like to consider it. Now of course you don't just walk into management and she didn't actually offer me anything so I'm not just assuming I'm going to walk in one day and be the boss. No of course not, I'm not that naive. But after thinking about it a little, I think it'd be better to say "I'm the Director" than to say "I'm the substitute teacher".

Now You See Me...

Today's laugh and a half moment is brought to you by a 2 year old (the same one as yesterday actually)

I was sitting on the floor and I asked this 2 year old child to come to me, he wasn't in trouble I just wanted a hug. He recently does this thing with me and my teacher assistant where if we're asking him to come get hugs or cuddles he laughs and runs away. So he ran behind a shelf where I couldn't see him but there was a mirror behind him so I actually could still see him. I craned my neck around and said "I see you!" and of course he giggled and ran away. He ran to the other side of the shelf and I said "I still see you!" and he giggled and ran back to the other side. This continued for a few times. Then I had to look away to attend to another child for a second. When he came back around the shelf waiting for me to say "I see you" and saw I was doing something else, he pulled his shirt over his head and started walking quietly toward me. When I turned around I couldn't help but crack up at the fact that he figured if his shirt was over his face than I couldn't see him. Toddlers are endlessly hilarious.

It's Too Dark

Today's laugh and a half moment is brought to you by a 2 year old...

So I was doing a music activity with my students today. I asked them to close their eyes and listen to flight of the bumblebee. I say "close your eyes tight and keep 'em closed." One of them starts making this face like he's about to cry and he's whining and opens his eyes. I go "what's wrong?" he responds with "It's dark in my eyes!!"

WHAT?!!?! lmfao it's dark in your eyes??!

Moving On and On and On

Once again I find myself in the midst of a... I don't know if I should necessarily say a career transition because I'm transitioning back to my position as a building substitute at the same school I was working at before. But I just seem to constantly find myself changing jobs. My current job is as lead teacher of a toddler classroom... aka my dream job if it paid more. My boss really wants to keep me on but I refer you back to the "if it paid more" comment.

I love both of my jobs and I find myself searching for a way to keep them both but I can recall a year and a few months ago and working 3 jobs being very overwhelmed. I also recall trying to work and go to grad school, Knowing how that felt and trying to add a second job where I'd basically be doing 12 hour days and then trying to come home and do homework. It doesn't sound good. Plus there are several other factors.

1. I imagine that if I stay on and only work in the afternoon at the daycare, that I couldn't remain lead teacher and keep my classroom or my pay which means I'd be making even LESS than the not enough I'm already making.
2. I'm taking a huge pay cut at my subbing job as well. We lost the grant our school had so we no longer have an extended school day so we are going to be paid less.
3. They've decided to start insuring building subs and I recently lost my old insurance but... that's another chunk of my paycheck.
4. It's my final semester of grad school and I really don't wanna fuck it up.

I also am being considered for covering a maternity leave for a first grade teacher in my school. I'm very excited about the prospect

1. I love that teacher
2. I know most of last year's kindergartners/this year's first graders and I'm excited to be their teacher even for a bit
3. I'm nervous as heck about being in charge again but the experience will prepare me for having my own classroom which is a goal of mine that is quickly approaching.